


fairy tales: a for true or b for false

by sowish



Category: TWICE - Fandom
Genre: Chaeyu, F/F, Mimo, feat little sprinkles of:, sahyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sowish/pseuds/sowish
Summary: Multiple choice.Fill in A for true, B for false.Making fairy tales come true are possible.1. A2. BDahyun really wants to fill in A. What does life say?





	1. a for true

**Author's Note:**

> TW: homophobia
> 
> i will mark where it starts with a singular bold letter and end it with another singular bold
> 
> it's fluffy, for the most part, i promise. there's kaomojis! it can't be That sad!!

Dahyun believed in fairy tales—the singing birds, the Prince Charming, the happy ending. She treasured the magic—the bright and light hope for something good.

 

At three, she would shout at birds to hear their response. They would chirp back and flutter towards the branch near her window.

 

At five, she dresses in her mother’s dress, pats her cheeks with blush and paints her lips a pretty pink, and dances around her room with an invisible prince, humming “So This Is Love.”

 

Innocence and optimism are victims of time and growing up.

 

When she is fifteen, her boyfriend of five months breaks up with her three weeks before Winter Formal. The small composed piano piece sitting in her room asking for him to be her partner ends up balled up and thrown in her trash bin the night he tells her it’s over. He claims that basketball practice takes up all of his time. Turns out, she learns that the girl in her English class is “basketball practice” when she catches them kissing at his locker.

 

Her heart hurts.

 

It hurts to see a boy that she likes with another. But more than that, it hurts her heart to be confronted with the fact that her life is not a fairy tale. Her Prince Charming turned out to be a monster coveting what she treasured so dearly.

 

Fairy tales stay the same. The world does not. Dahyun sees how the world turns its eyes when injustice plagues society. She feels her heart break when she first learns that some families abandon their children who come out as gay.

 

Dahyun learns she likes girls when she is seventeen.

 

She overhears her parents talk in fiery hate about the out girl in her school making headlines in the local newspaper.

 

God, she fears for her life. She fears abandonment, being unloved.

 

At eighteen, all she had under her name was her pet dog, Ahri. Her house, her belongings, the food provided for her, are all by the hands of her parents. She cannot afford to feel the cold slap of air at night with no home to go to.

 

If her parents wouldn’t love her, who would?

 

Fairy tales aren’t supposed to be like this. Sleeping Beauty’s parents loved her, Belle’s father loved her dearly.

 

Dahyun fears that her parents will cast her out of their hearts if she were to be herself in front of them.

 

From there on, she represses how she feels, despite the cute girl in her art class, despite how bubbly her dimpled smile made her feel.

 

Dahyun doesn’t see how she starts looking at herself as an enemy, how she villianizes herself. When Dahyun sees Cute Art Girl, Chaeyoung, she smiles politely and turns away from her. She plugs her earphones in and forces her eyes away from her.

 

Chaeyoung’s dimpled smile fades.

 

It isn’t until halfway in the semester that Dahyun needs help with an art piece when she asks Chaeyoung for help. Wide-eyed and attentive, Chaeyoung graciously helps her with a genuine smile on her lips.

 

The mole that charms her face makes Dahyun’s heart smile. She considers Hedonism when Chaeyoung giggles at the smudge of paint on Dahyun’s cheeks.

 

It takes Dahyun months to realize that liking a girl and accepting it is far from Hedonism and rather, just a part of who she is.

 

When Dahyun decides to confess to Chaeyoung a couple of months before summer vacation breaks out, she sees her at senior prom slow dancing with a girl a head taller than her. The sight of Chaeyoung kissing her partner doesn’t hurt her the way she thought it would. Rather, it makes her heart feel light. Dahyun considers that, maybe, people like her _can_ have a fairy tale.

 

Chaeyoung’s smile when her partner twirls her around makes Dahyun believe in fairy tales again.

 

(Dahyun is quick to revise her fairy tale. Singing birds, Princess Charming, and happy endings, it is.)

 

~.~.~

 

Dahyun leaves home for college. For once, she feels like she can breathe.

 

She buys a pencil case with rainbows decorated haphazardly on them and a small rainbow flag to hang in her room.

 

She has a ball of energy and happiness as her roommate, Sana, as she so affectionately introduced with her arms wrapped around Dahyun’s small frame, high pitched giggle whistling past her ear.

 

She feels at home when Sana throws a compliment at her before rushing out of the dorm for her class.

 

“Cute flag, Dahyunie.”

 

Sana’s smile is coy, yet, warm.

 

Dahyun doesn’t know entirely if Sana was sending some sort of gay-beacon-signal or if she was just an ally. When Dahyun returns to her room after heating up water for her bowl of ramen the next day, she sees Sana kiss a girl goodbye before she turns inside their room.

 

So it _was_ a gay-beacon-signal Sana was sending after all.

 

Dahyun eventually learns that the girl kissing Sana goodbye was named Jihyo. She had met her whilst biking around campus. Jihyo clarifies that she met Sana only because she ate shit in front of her. Sana is quick to refute, “if you weren’t so damn pretty, I wouldn’t have gotten distracted and swerved!”

 

Jihyo’s smile is smug when Sana pouts further at her.

 

~.~.~

 

Dahyun _really_ wants her Princess Charming.

 

She is all for Sana and Jihyo’s relationship. Except, they were teeth-rotteningly sweet and cute and clingy. Third wheeling is only fun the first couple of times. It gets a bit tiring to be the only one watching a movie and hearing scattered giggles behind her. (God forbid the amount of times she has accidentally walked into them making out in her room.)

 

When Dahyun settles herself at the school cafeteria with her belly-warming bowl of ramen in front of her, she sees a girl rushing into the line for grilled beef and soup. The girl clutches at her backpack behind her as she runs so that it wouldn’t bang against her back for every step she made. The girl proceeds to take out all of her belongings in the first pocket of her bag to reach for her wallet.

 

Dahyun can’t help but to laugh at the mess the girl creates all for a bowl of soup. When the girl collects her soup, she sits the bowl on a table one away from her and walks away towards the fried chicken line.

  
Dahyun stares a bit miffed between the lonely bowl of soup and the girl walking away from it. It isn’t until the girl has settled down with her plate of fried chicken across from the bowl of soup and another girl emerges with a cute gummy smile on her lips that her confusion clears.

 

Girl With Cute Gummy Smile pecks Fried Chicken Girl with a sweet kiss before digging in.

 

Dahyun wonders if she has some sort of pull towards women who were already taken. Dahyun wishes it would pull her towards a girl who wasn’t taken, and preferably, liked girls too.

 

Fried Chicken Girl clears her platter and kisses Girl With Cute Gummy Smile before throwing a wave behind her and leaving and _shit,_ Dahyun has ten minutes before her next class.

 

She stares at her half-eaten bowl of ramen and apologizes to whatever is left over as she dumps it away and power walks towards her next class.

 

Walking through the door and looking down the lecture hall, Dahyun finds Fried Chicken Girl sat in the middle of the room scrolling on her phone. Dahyun chooses to sit a seat over one to the left of her.

 

Dahyun wants to make friends. It would really help if the thought of saying “hi” didn’t make her heart go in overdrive. As class starts, the professor assigns students to introduce themselves to one another, the usual tiring: name, three fun facts, and “what’s your major” spiel. Fried Chicken Girl turns to Dahyun with a smile and comfortably introduces herself.

 

“Hi I’m Momo, I have a dog allergy but I own three dogs, and I can blow through ten plates of food at a buffet. I’m majoring in Kinesiology with a minor in Dance.”

 

Something about Momo makes Dahyun feel brave.

 

“I’m Dahyun. I’m deathly afraid of heights, nicknamed Dubu like tofu, and I’m gay. And I’m undecided because the future is scary and I barely know what I’m going to eat tomorrow, nonetheless, know what I want to do for the rest of my life.”

 

The laugh that leaves Momo’s lips is bubbly and sweet. Momo offers Dahyun a snack halfway through the syllabus run through. Dahyun sees ten digits scribbled on the wrapper. It takes her two minutes to realize that Momo gave her her number.

 

Scrawled and half lost due to the plastic’s wrapping, Dahyun sees a note.

 

 _“Ur funny. Friends?_ ”

 

When Dahyun turns to look at Momo, Momo points between Dahyun and herself and writes “friends?” in the air with her finger, her lips slowing mouthing it.

 

Dahyun’s chittering giggle and excited nod brings light to Momo’s eyes.

 

When Dahyun agrees to meet up with Momo for food, Dahyun meets two new people. She learns that Girl With Cute Gummy Smile was named Mina and that the two have been together since junior year of high school.

 

The glimpse of a fairy tale is starting to look clearer.

 

Through Momo, who by through Mina, Dahyun meets Jeongyeon.

 

Tall and gorgeous with kind eyes and a teasing smile, Dahyun thinks Jeongyeon might be one of the prettiest girls she has ever seen. Within an hour of meeting her, Jeongyeon has teased her for how she eats, how she smiles, to how she talks. But, Jeongyeon playfully bumps her shoulders with hers and smiles genuinely, her eyes turning into crescents and Dahyun knows that Jeongyeon’s playful heart means well.

 

As the year goes on, Dahyun finds solace in Jeongyeon. She is not third-wheeling anymore if Jeongyeon is there to giggle along with her in front of Sana and Jihyo.

 

~.~.~

 

After winter break, a new quarter arises and Dahyun decides to take Japanese for her language requirement.

 

She comes twenty minutes earlier to claim her usual middle seat in the middle of the lecture hall. Some minutes later, there is a tap on her shoulder and Dahyun looks up to find a girl with a halo of light glowing behind her. Long black hair, glasses sitting on her nose, and an earphone in her ear, Dahyun swears she accidentally sat in front of the gates of heaven.

 

“You’re in my seat.”

 

The girl points to the floor on the left of Dahyun’s seat.

 

The halo of light moves as the girl shifts her weight to the other leg. The whiteboard in front of the class and the uncomfortable seat welcomes her back from heaven. Dahyun’s eyes follow the girl’s finger and she finds a black backpack sitting beside her. Clumsily, Dahyun gathers her notebook and phone and forces out an apology. Before she can slide out of the chair, the girl pushes back at her shoulder and rests her hand on it.

 

“You’re lucky you’re cute. You can have it.”

 

The girl, or as Dahyun subconsciously dubs, Angel, picks up her backpack and sits two seats over to her right.

 

Dahyun doesn’t think her cheeks have burned any hotter. She sinks in her seat and covers her face with her hair.

 

In the face of an angel, she, of course, had to make a fool out of herself.

 

The class ends and Dahyun rushes out of her seat faster than Sana running towards Jihyo to plant kisses all over her face.

 

The girl with the black backpack smiles fondly at the flash of blonde hair disappearing in front of her.

 

~

 

It takes two class sessions for Dahyun to gather the courage to ask Angel With The Black Backpack for her number...just in case she misses any notes in the future.

 

Dahyun is a mess of nerves and adrenaline as she quietly stammers to the girl.

 

“I-in case I have to miss class for any reason, which I shouldn’t because I have no life and I take perfect care of my health, I shouldn’t get sick, can I please have your number so that I can get the notes, please?”

 

Angel With The Black Backpack takes out the earphone sitting in her ear and looks at Dahyun with a glimmer in her eyes.

 

“You know you said please twice?”

 

She takes Dahyun’s phone in her hand and fills out the contact information on the screen. She returns her phone, places her earphone back in, and smirks at her before turning away.

 

At the front of her blinking cursor, “Im Nayeon” sits staring at her.

 

All Dahyun can think is, “Oh my God, Oh my God, I got an angel’s number.”

 

She hears Nayeon muffle a laugh behind the back of her hand.

 

Dear fuck. She didn’t just think it, did she?

 

With bright red cheeks, Dahyun feels her cheeks burn as she adds an angel emoji after Nayeon’s name.

 

She texts Nayeon seven minutes later.

 

 **_Dahyun:_ ** _hi!! it’s Dahyun from Japanese class!_

  
  
Dahyun adds a cowboy emoji and the dancing salsa lady in red after her message so that it doesn’t look so dry and plain.

 

Nayeon replies a minute later.

 

 **_Nayeon:_ ** _Hi Yeehaw, it’s the angel._

 

Dahyun thinks her cheeks might like its pink hue as she’s been blushing for the past couple of minutes.

 

Twenty seconds later, Nayeon replies again.

 

 **_Nayeon:_ ** _:)_

 

Dahyun quickly replies back.

 

 **_Dahyun:_ ** _:-)_

 

Dahyun cannot help but to think of Nayeon as her Princess Charming. Whether or not this could hurt her in the future, Dahyun allows for her mind to run wild.

 

~.~.~

 

As it turns out, Dahyun has an excellent grasp on Japanese. (She has Momo, Sana, and Mina to thank for that.) Nayeon, however, can barely grasp at the threads of the language. On the fifth day of the week, Dahyun’s phone buzzes in the middle of the movie she is watching with Sana, Jihyo, Momo, Mina, and Jeongyeon.

 

 **_Nayeon:_ ** _Yeehaw, I need help with homework. Please, help me?_

 

Her heart should not race as quickly as it does when she replies back.

 

 **_Dahyun:_ ** _what do you need help with? do you want to meet up?_

 

The three dots flashing in the grey bubble follow the pattern of her heart as she awaits her reply.

 

 **_Nayeon:_ ** _Everything. And yes. Are you free tomorrow at 12?_

 

 ** _Dahyun:_** _yes :-)_

 

 **_Nayeon:_ ** _See you tomorrow, yeehaw :)_

 

Wait. She told Sana that she would go with her for lunch tomorrow.

 

She scrolls through her phone until she can find her individual chat with Sana.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _Sana unnie, can I raincheck on lunch with you tomorrow?? a girl in my Japanese class needs my help with homework._

 

 **_Sanananananananana:_ ** _is the girl cute?_

 

The two eyes emoji follows after.

 

Dahyun questions herself, _“_ must I really blush at the simple thought of Nayeon? _”_

 

She replies reluctantly.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _….yes.. . .._

 

Dahyun hears Sana squeak behind her.

 

 **_Sanananananananana:_ ** _Dahyunie!! Of Course you can help the cute girl with Japanese!! as long as you tell me who she is, what she looks like, and what you do on your date!!_

 

She cannot stop herself from sighing.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _Sana unnie. .. .it’s not a date_

 

 **_Sanananananananana:_ ** _But it could be!! just tell her you like girls and specifically, her!!_

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _. . .. it’s not that simple, unnie! just because it worked on Jihyo unnie, it doesn’t mean it’ll work on Nayeon unnie!! and don’t forget!!! i’m not you!! i don’t have the ~gay confidence~ to do that !!! ! !_

 

Sana just pats Dahyun’s hair in response and smiles to herself.

 

Sana hopes that the universe will be on Dahyun’s side. Sana figures that Dahyun looks beautiful when she carries hope on her sleeve and happiness in her pocket.

 

~.~.~

 

Nayeon is a disaster at Japanese. She struggles with the pronunciation, the sentence structures, the vocabulary. Yet, Dahyun sits across from her, smiling patiently and beams whenever Nayeon correctly forms a sentence.

 

Nayeon looks beautiful. On any given day, Dahyun can guarantee that Nayeon will look beautiful.

 

When they take a much needed break, Nayeon peeps at the rainbow sticker Momo stuck on the back of Dahyun’s phone.

 

It’s all about the subliminal messages, right?

 

Now, Nayeon is no idiot. She can generally get a good idea on what people like quite easily. Looking at Dahyun, Nayeon can recognize a couple of hints. Number one, Dahyun’s fingernails weren’t long and were in fact, cut to the near nub. This could mean a couple of things: she plays guitar, just likes her nails short, or she had concern for her hypothetical partner’s physical well-being. Number two, Dahyun makes herself comfortable in any seat. Nayeon notices that she often sits with her feet on the chair with her knees tucked to her chest or sits cross legged on the seat. Number three, the common occurrence of rainbows Dahyun totes around. Number four, and the final hint, the copious amount of staring Dahyun has done when she thinks Nayeon isn’t looking or is aware of it.

 

There is no easy or subtle way to ask a girl she just met two weeks ago if she was gay.

 

And Nayeon? Nayeon doesn’t know a thing called shame.

 

“Dahyun, are you gay? Or fall anywhere under the queer spectrum?”

 

Dahyun looks like a deer in headlights and chitters out a nervous laugh.

 

“What gave it away?”

 

Nayeon smiles knowingly, teasingly, yet, genuinely at her.

 

“Everything. If it makes you feel better, I only noticed because I am too.”

 

Dahyun feels her world halt and this is when the frame freezes and scratches. Her mind scrambles to reach a state of peace.

 

_Nayeon: a pretty girl_

_Nayeon: a pretty_ _ gay _ _girl_

 _Me: a_ _panicked_ _gay girl_

 

Dahyun can only muster a relieved and nervous laugh as she buries her head in her arms and peers at Nayeon from the top of her eyes.

 

Nayeon is looking at her with soft and warm eyes with a small smile on her lips and if Dahyun hadn’t fallen for her before, she sure as hell did now.

 

Dahyun figures it’s not a complete disaster, liking Nayeon. At least Nayeon _could_ like her back. That prospect brings more hope than Dahyun could ever foresee.

 

Dahyun can’t help but to hope for Nayeon to be her Princess Charming.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _she’s gay :-) i think im in love, sana unnie_

 

 **_Sanananananananana:_ ** _should i expect a wedding invite anytime soon, dubu?_

 

~.~.~

 

It doesn’t take long for Nayeon to recognize Dahyun’s feelings for her.

 

She didn’t confront her about it, though. Nayeon admits it’s greatly entertaining to watch Dahyun squirm under her flirtatious remarks and actions. From kissing her cheek to complimenting the pretty pink that colors them, Dahyun melts under Nayeon’s affection.

 

At first.

 

It has been months since their study date and Dahyun can barely get the guts to compliment how charming Nayeon’s bunny-toothed smile was.

 

And truly, time is of the essence. The year was trickling away and Nayeon really wanted to just kiss this girl and hold her to sleep for the long foreseeable future.

 

 **_Angel:_ ** _Yeehaw, I miss you :(_

 

 **_Yeehaw:_ ** _you just saw me yesterday, nayeon unnie. how could you miss me already? do you like me that much uwu???_

 

 **_Angel:_ ** _Yes._

 

 **_Yeehaw:_ ** _wait. .. .Really?????_

 

 **_Angel:_ ** _Yes :)_

 

 **_Yeehaw:_ ** _.. .. ..i like you too, unnie :-)_

 

 **_Angel:_ ** _Can I see you tonight, Dahyun?_

 

 **_Yeehaw:_ ** _of course. just call my name and i’ll always come running to you._

 

That night, Sana’s messaging tone startles her and Jihyo awake.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. WHO KISSED ME. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!! !! ! !! !!! ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ  (˘ω˘)_

 

 **_Sanananananananana:_ ** _im glad you have a gf who kisses you but dahyun, sweetie, it’s two in the morning. where are you??_

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _in my gf’s arms ♥‿♥ im sleeping over :-)_

 

The two eyes Sana replies back gets Dahyun scrambling to clarify herself.

 

 **_Dahyunie:_ ** _WE’RE JUST CUDDLING!! IM NOT YOU, SANA UNNIE!! <(｀^´)> _

 

Sana locks her phone and sleeps with a smile on her face. Happiness looks good on her roommate. Sana thinks Dahyun deserves everything good the universe has to offer.

 

Sana is not the only one to think so.

 

~.~.~

 

The boiling kettle of water lowly whistles as Nayeon kisses Dahyun. Her arms make a home around her waist, Dahyun’s hands cupping her world in them. The two bowls of ramen sitting on the counter remain uncooked until the loud whistling disrupts their peace. Nayeon kisses her nose before turning around to pour the water in their bowls. Dahyun snuggles into the juncture where Nayeon’s neck meets her back.

 

Nayeon is soft and gentle and beautiful and so much more than words could ever describe. She is everything Dahyun could want in a Princess Charming.

 

She texts her good morning and good night, reminds her to restock on contact cleaning solution, buys her random snacks and packs of ramen, gives her the attention and affection Dahyun craves. In Dahyun’s phone case, a pressed yellow flower decorates the back of it. Nayeon had picked it and given it to her during one of their dates, and said, “if you’re ever sad or down, just look at this flower and remember how happy you are in this moment.”

 

Nayeon makes her so damn happy. The simple joy in seeing her smile, hugging her at night, kissing her goodbye, hearing her soothing voice lulling her to sleep, Dahyun thinks this is how fairy tales are supposed to be.

 

So this is love.

 

 ** _Princess Yeehaw:_** _my sunshine, my angel, the most beautiful woman to ever grace this universe, open your door (ﾉ´ з `)ノ_

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _please_

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _the weird guy who makes bird coos at night is looking at me_

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _let me in.mp3_

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _i brought food ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆_

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _I’ll let you in only because you referenced one of the greatest songs to exist and brought food._

 

Dahyun arrives with two bags of food. Nayeon sees a packet of ramen that Dahyun likes eating dry. Her hair is up in a bun, her blaringly red track pants adorn her legs, a large baggy white shirt hangs off her shoulders.

 

Dahyun shouldn’t look so cute in clothes so...ugly. But, Nayeon supposes that that is just one of her charms. Dahyun tends to make even the ugliest things look perfect. For a world that Nayeon thought was once so cold and unbefitting, Dahyun has changed her mind.

 

She did quite a number on her. From weaseling past her defenses and melting her heart, Nayeon feels herself turn soft once again. For so long, she has been burnt and hurt from the way time ticks and the world turns, but now, it feels as if every time Dahyun looks at her with her admiring eyes and comforting smile, the world finds a square more of peace and humanity.

 

“I knew you couldn’t turn down Haseul and food.”

 

Nayeon kisses her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and her nose in greeting. It reminds Dahyun of how Nayeon once held her by her choker and kissed her a hundred times on her cheeks. Dahyun says she didn’t like it and whines about it to Jeongyeon but everyone knows that she treasures how Nayeon gives her her heart.

 

“How could I turn down sustenance? Haseul, food, and you are the only things I need to survive.”

 

Dahyun breathes out a laugh as she nudges her shoulder against Nayeon’s.

 

When Nayeon sets up her laptop to play a movie and she settles down on her bed with her arms opened for Dahyun to rest in them, she feels that if her fairy tale had Nayeon in it, no Evil Queen could deter her away from her.

 

~.~.~

 

Summer vacation blows by with dates by Han River, karaoke room sing-alongs, movie nights, and sleepovers.

 

Nayeon trips over her feet, spills food almost every meal, and forgets her glasses in odd places but she is absolute grace and beauty when she cloudgazes with Dahyun on the grass, when she croons a song by IU, dances to songs with Momo. Dahyun looks at her and she sees her world.

 

Over the summer, her and Nayeon stumble over Chaeyoung and her girlfriend during one of their dates at the arcade. Dahyun is happy to see that Chaeyoung’s partner at senior prom has stayed to be her partner through life. Tzuyu is quiet at first, seemingly cold and unwelcoming. But, Dahyun sees her dimpled smile grow when Chaeyoung whines into her neck about losing against the claw machine. Tzuyu’s affection is small and understated. It’s the quiet hand that sits at the small of Chaeyoung’s back, how she walks on the outside of the sidewalk, and slows her pace to match Chaeyoung’s.

 

It doesn’t take long for Dahyun to see that Tzuyu might be one of the softest girls she has ever met. Tzuyu tears up when she talks about how she misses her dog at home when they talk about their respective pets, cries when she talks about how she misses her mother. When she sees a stray dog with ribs as visible as the sun that meanders around her neighborhood, Tzuyu cries at the thought of an innocent soul being left behind to suffer. (She proceeds to buy a bag of dog food and stores it in her car so that at any moment, she could provide food for him.)

 

Chaeyoung coddles Tzuyu just as much Tzuyu does for her.

 

A mutual love is just as magical as fairy tales make it seem to be.

 

Dahyun introduces Chaeyoung and Tzuyu to her friend group and she has never felt so complete.

 

With Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu by her side, Dahyun thinks no fairy tale could ever portray how elated she feels to have them in her life.

 

~

 

 **D** ahyun is setting up the table for dinner talking with her parents when the forgotten terror of paranoia crashes through her pink-hazed fairy tale.

 

“Dahyun-ah, who is this Nayeon you’ve been hanging out with?”

 

She so badly wants to tell them that she’s her girlfriend. She so badly wants to proudly share that Nayeon holds her heart.

 

But, fear is an ugly monster that antagonizes her mind and heart. She can only remember how her parents spat terms of disgust towards people like her. The words circle her mind like a tireless hamster running on its wheel. Her stomach feels like it has dropped to her feet, she feels her heart pound against her chest, feels like the whole world is scrutinizing her with nasty, critical eyes.

 

“S-she’s just a friend I met at school.”

 

“Dahyun. Friends don’t kiss each other. And surely, my daughter doesn’t go around kissing floozys like her. My daughter doesn’t kiss girls. She doesn’t go around touting her disgusting relationship in public. My daughter is a good girl who likes boys and plans for a future with one.”

 

Her mother places a photobooth strip of her and Nayeon posing and kissing on the table.

 

God, she feels like vomiting.

 

Her father slams his hands on the dining room table. She flinches. He points at her with all the hate in the world and spits words of lava at her. She curls in.

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

 

Dahyun was supposed to have time to gather the courage to tell her parents that she was gay, that she was in love with a girl. Dahyun was supposed to have Nayeon by her side, holding her hand, and protecting her heart. Dahyun was supposed to be _ready_ to reveal herself to her parents, to the people she loves with her whole heart. She was supposed to face her fear with confidence in beating it, overcoming it.

 

But, here she is.

 

Alone, under the fiery scrutiny of her parents that show a horrifying look of abhorrence.

 

She hears her mother call her an abomination.

 

She feels it leech to her heart and kill her slowly.

 

She feels like one.

 

She feels the air bloat with tension. Their revulsion suffocates her. The faces of her fear sneer at her, scream obscenities at her, and banish her from what was once her home.

 

Dahyun can only look at Nayeon’s smile on the photobooth strip.

 

 **D** ahyun wished it was enough to stop her heart from bleeding.

 

~

 

Han River is beautiful at night. The scattered city lights glow, the cicadas sing their songs, the calm easing of the water flows peacefully.

 

Dahyun, on this night, feels atrocious. She feels as if she lost light in her life, like the birds won’t sing to her the next morning, like the chaos that wrecks her heart will be the one to plague her soul and leave her an empty host of skin and bones.

 

She feels so lost, miserable at the least. The gnawing that eats at her makes her feel repulsed at herself.

 

She is in a state that she doesn’t want anyone to see.

 

She doesn’t want Sana and Jihyo to wrap blankets around her and cuddle her, doesn’t want Mina and Momo to buy her ramen to bring a smile to her face, doesn’t want Chaeyoung and Tzuyu drawing happy faces on her cheeks with her eyeliner, doesn’t want Jeongyeon to wipe the tears from her cheeks away, and doesn’t want Nayeon to kiss her fears away.

 

Fairy tales don’t talk about how wretched it feels to be abandoned.

 

Dahyun thinks there isn’t a word to describe how torn apart she feels. She realizes just how fucking cruel the world could be.

 

There is no consolation to losing family.

 

Losing a home and her possessions don’t nearly hurt as much as losing people—losing her parents that cherished and loved her.

 

There is no replacement for family.

 

Dahyun’s phone buzzes and Nayeon’s name stares at her.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _My beautiful Princess Yeehaw, are you okay? You would have texted me good night by now; it’s way past your usual bedtime._

 

Dahyun silences her phone and shoves it in her pocket. Minutes pass by and her screen lights up, signifying a notification.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _Dahyun-ah?_

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _Are you okay?_

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _Why are you at Han River? Are you alone?_

 

Dahyun forgets that she shared her location with Nayeon when they went on a date and she promised her that she would get ice cream and come back. Nayeon, knowing her girlfriend’s lack of direction, sends a request to see her location so that she could find her should she get lost.

 

(Dahyun did. Nayeon retrieved her with her eyes glued to her phone, following the lost blue dot.)

 

When Dahyun pulls her phone out of her pocket, she sees the yellow flower pressed to the back of it and remembers how happy she was when Nayeon put the flower behind her ear, remembers how Nayeon told her to look at the flower whenever she was sad.

 

She tries so hard to remember how happy she felt.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _Dahyun, please respond. I’m worried._

 

She ignores her messages again. A minute passes.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _I’m coming to get you._

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _No. Don’t come to me. I want to be alone._

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _I’m safe, I’m okay. No one’s here._

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _Dahyun-ah. Please. I’m calling your name. Please, come to me. Where are you? I know you’re not okay. You’re texting all weird and you don’t like going out at night because it’s too scary. I know there’s something wrong._

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _I get you want to be alone, but please, go home. It’s not safe._

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _I don’t have a home anymore, Nayeon unnie._

 

The grey bubble flitters for a long moment.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _What do you mean, Dahyun?_

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _My parents found out about us because of the photobooth strip we did at the arcade and kicked me out._

 

It’s a matter of seconds until Nayeon is calling her. Dahyun can’t find it in herself to decline the call.

 

There is a moment of silence.

 

Nayeon’s voice is quiet, soft, and delicate. She treads carefully, cautiously.

 

“Dahyun. You don’t need to talk or say anything or explain. Just let me stay on the line with you so I can hear if you’ll stay safe. I understand you want to be alone and don’t want to see anyone. But please, would you just let me hear you so I know you won’t get hurt?”

 

“Nayeon unnie, I’m already hurt. But, okay.”

 

A moment passes.

 

“I love you, Nayeon unnie. The world has gone fucking upside down and I feel absolutely horrendous but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. I’m just not ready.”

 

If there is one thing that Nayeon loves the most about Dahyun, it is how her heart has ample consideration for others. Nayeon knows that despite the overwhelming pain she harbors in her heart right now, she will not be so cruel to be calloused with her and project her pain and turn it into hate.

 

“It’s okay, Dahyun-ah. I understand. And I love you too. More than I could ever put into words.”

 

“You’ll be here for me when the sun rises?”

 

“Even when the sun sets and rises again, I will be there. Always. You have me, Dahyun. I will wait for you.”

 

Dahyun watches the sun rise, she hears Nayeon’s steady breathing and the rustling of her sheets. Despite the near silence, she knows Nayeon stays awake with her when she hears birds chirping at her in the morning and Nayeon’s raspy and sleepy greeting to her when the sun casts a warm glow on them both.

 

Seeing the sun rise, how the light bounces off of Han River, and hearing how cars start filling the street and chatter starts occupying the silence, Dahyun understands that she will be okay—that for as long as she is alive, no one can steal the light inside of her, no one can stop the world from turning and the birds singing, and no one can stop her from loving Nayeon.

 

She won’t let people who didn’t love her turn her cold.

 

Dahyun has her fairy tale and she damn well will have her happy ending.

 

~

 

Dahyun comes home while her parents are at work, packs most of her clothes in her suitcase, takes what is most valuable to her (a picture of her and her brother, an old and faded family picture, and the photobooth strip of her and Nayeon), wishes that she could shove her grand piano in her bag, and says goodbye to the room she has lived in for her whole life.

 

Already, her home feels less like home and more like a place haunted by hate and ignorance.

 

Nayeon waits outside for her by the trunk of her car, holding Ahri in her arms. When Nayeon drives away, looking at the white house disappearing, Dahyun feels a weight on her shoulders leave.

  
With her hand holding Nayeon’s, Ahri on her lap, music playing on the car’s stereo, Dahyun feels the most alive than she has ever been.

 

~.~.~

 

Her second year of college begins and to Dahyun’s pleasant surprise, she shares a Communication class with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung. The three sit together, snickering silently when the the professor fumbles around with his syllabus. She sees Chaeyoung’s head bobbing back and forth in the corner of her eye, looks to her right and sees her trying to fight off sleep. Tzuyu sits with her cheek resting on her hand, watching her with heart eyes, and smiling just enough for her dimple to deepen when Chaeyoung startles herself awake. Dahyun works hard to muffle her laugh.

 

When she meets up with Momo and Mina for lunch (a bowl of ramen sits in front of her thanks to Momo), Sana and Jihyo wrap her up in a cozy hug and kiss her cheeks. Jeongyeon laughs at the lipstick marks on them and purses her lips and threatens a kiss on her as well. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung laugh beside her and make kissy noises. Nayeon arrives thirty minutes later and presses a sound kiss on her lips and settles in beside her. As her friends tell stories of their summer and Nayeon’s hand rests comfortably on her thigh, Dahyun feels that _this_ was family. These are the people that would take her in, love her, support her, and be by her side.

 

~

 

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu decided to graciously host the first movie night and the others had yet to come while Chaeyoung had left to scour for snacks.

 

Tzuyu is the first person outside of Nayeon to know how Dahyun’s summer went sour.

 

Dahyun sees how she has to blink away her tears, hears how she sniffles her nose to stop it from running. Tzuyu doesn’t say anything, just tugs her into a tight hug and holds her. Dahyun knows Tzuyu won’t abandon her. When Chaeyoung walks into their dorm and sees how Tzuyu holds her, she eagerly joins the hug. The door opens with Jihyo’s voice following it.

 

“Anyway, I told Nayeon that-”

 

Sana’s voice interrupts Jihyo’s.

 

“Group hug!”

 

Sana is quick to push herself into the hug and the force is enough for them to lose their footing and end up in a dog pile on the floor.

 

As Dahyun props her elbow to get up, she hears Jihyo’s laughter as she piles on on top, sees Jeongyeon dropping bags of snacks on the floor before joining in, throwing her leg over the pile of limbs, the weight of Momo lying on top of them squeezes the air out of Dahyun’s lungs, Mina lightly lying on top of them doesn’t help ease the pressure, but, Chaeyoung is laughing. So are Tzuyu and Sana, everyone is, really. Jihyo cries from laughing, Jeongyeon teases her in the midst of catching her breath.

 

And Nayeon? After closing the door, she records the mess of bodies on the floor and zooms in uncomfortably close on Jihyo’s crying face, Jeongyeon’s mouth and Sana’s smiling crescent eyes. She zooms out to focus on Dahyun who looks completely flat and out of breath, but also, so unadulteratedly happy and joyous.

 

Nayeon misses seeing Dahyun like this. She knows she is suffering a significant loss, no matter how much she downplays her hurt.

 

Hearing her chittering laughter and seeing her bright eyes again, Nayeon promises that she will do whatever it takes to keep the light on within her.

 

~

 

It’s Friday night and Dahyun was having a dance party with her friends. It’s loud, dark, and chaotic. Someone is jumping on the bed, Jeongyeon is flickering the light on and off, everyone is a mess of movements and laughter.

 

Although Dahyun can’t seem to forget the pain that lingers around her heart, her newly recognized family does well to distract her from the gap in her life.

 

She is eternally grateful for them.

 

Sana treats her to breakfast every Monday, Momo shares her snacks with her every lunch gap, Mina shares her movies with her, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu willingly act a fool in public with her, Jeongyeon allows for her to sleep on her shoulder when Dahyun’s eyes cannot stay open, Jihyo holds her upright when she feels tired, and Nayeon does what she always has been doing.

 

She kisses her good night, holds her to sleep whilst quietly singing into the silent air, texts her good morning and good night, reminds her where her glasses case is, and loves her so deeply and truly. For their first anniversary, Nayeon gives her a book full of pressed flowers from past dates, little notes of love and memories, and promises of a beautiful future.

 

Real life is far from fairy tales. Real life is too cruel and hateful for magic to infiltrate it, but, Nayeon gets her as close as she possibly could to a fairy tale.

 

The birds chirp at her in the morning, Nayeon loves her the way a Princess Charming should, and Dahyun sees a happy ending waiting for her. Dahyun sees that there is a certain magic in remaining soft towards a world so cold. She treasures the ability to have hope and light for something good in dark times.

 

If this is her fairy tale, she would confidently bubble in “A.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like always, thanks for reading and beep me (on tumblr @sophrodites) if u wanna reach me (or preferred, dm me on twitter @sowonatines)
> 
> cross posted on aff


	2. b for false

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letting go of a bad relationship is easy. Letting go of Dahyun who only gave her her best is damn near impossible. But, her light is dimming and Nayeon promised that she would do whatever it takes to keep that bright light on.
> 
> Life is telling Dahyun that B might be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to day6 for creating "letting go" and inspiring me to do these two pieces

****_The bubbled A for true remains._

 

After Dahyun’s second year of college, Nayeon erases another year until she achieves her doctorate.

 

An opened envelope sits in her dorm room with a letter that has been unfolded and folded and unfolded again. The proud blue emblem of a school’s logo catches her eye every morning before she leaves for classes. When Dahyun visits, Nayeon is sure to tuck the letter under her textbooks.

 

It was an acceptance letter—a letter Nayeon never thought she would receive. Four months ago, in a bout of impulse, Nayeon sent a college application to a school across the ocean. For as long as she could recall, she wanted a career concerning children. As she got older, her fascination with psychology set her forth in her academic endeavors. Working hard, forfeiting parties for early studying on tests, getting jobs to pay for courses, Nayeon was set on working towards a degree in Child Psychology. While maintaining multiple jobs here and there, her studies, and later on, her girlfriend, Nayeon was able to set herself apart from her peers. Her high marks, consistent participation, and respect from both her professors and peers has made herself to be a valuable applicant.

 

For as much as Nayeon boasts about her beauty and skills, underneath it all, is a deep insecurity and need to succeed. It wasn’t until she broke down from all the stress weighed on her shoulders that Dahyun understood that failing was Nayeon’s greatest fear. To see someone that is usually so confident and sure look so small and lost sent pangs to her heart—especially if this someone meant the world to her.

 

Dahyun makes a promise to herself to be Nayeon’s steady ground should she falter. She promises that she will be what Nayeon needs because that is what she did for her when her parents cast her out.

 

Dahyun promises to be a person that can bring a smile to her lips, to be a light when Nayeon dims.

 

For that, she is persistent on praising Nayeon for her accolades.

 

_When Nayeon tells Dahyun about a test she scored well on, Dahyun holds her tight and scratches under her chin and coos, “aigoo, my baby did so well!”_

 

_Nayeon giggles a laugh similar to that of a baby’s, pulls Dahyun hand under her chin and kisses it. Dahyun is quick to make news of it by texting in their group chat._

 

 **_Dubu:_ ** _GUESS WHAT MY GF DID (ﾉ｡≧◇≦）ﾉ_

 

 **_Dubu:_ ** _SHE SCORED HIGHEST IN HER CLASS FOR HER MIDTERM (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧_

 

 **_Dubu:_ ** _IM SO PROUD OF HER ٩(♡ε♡ )۶_

 

_Seven other responses of praise and congratulations makes their way to Nayeon. When Dahyun reads the texts out to her, Nayeon hides her face into Dahyun’s neck and cutely whines. Dahyun laughs and runs a soothing hand up and down her back. She kisses Nayeon soft and sweet when she settles down and tucks her hair behind her ear._

 

_“I really am so proud of you, Nayeon unnie. You work so hard; you’re bound to do well.”_

 

_Dahyun falls asleep in the middle of the movie they’re watching and Nayeon feels the love in her heart for her thrum throughout her body._

 

~.~.~

 

The girls are over in Nayeon’s dorm for their weekly movie night. As Jihyo clears Nayeon’s desk to make space for food, the acceptance letter falls in front of her feet. Jihyo picks it up, sees English written on the front of it. She is sure to hide the letter again under one of Nayeon’s textbooks.

 

While the movie plays, Jihyo tucks herself in the back with Sana in her arms. When Sana falls asleep with her face tucked into the crook of her neck, she dims the brightness on her phone and texts Nayeon.

 

 **_Annoying #3:_ ** _when were you going to tell us?_

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _Tell you what?_

 

 **_Annoying #3:_ ** _that you applied to a school in america._

 

The grey bubbles don’t appear until a minute later.

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _I didn’t think it would matter. I didn’t think I would get in so I didn’t say anything. I just did it for the hell of it._

 

 **_Annoying #3:_ ** _did you get accepted?_

 

The time that it takes for Nayeon to respond is all it takes for Jihyo to know the answer.

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _Yes._

 

 **_Annoying #3:_ ** _did you tell dahyun?_

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _No. And I don’t know when I will, or if I will at all. I don’t even know if I want to go there that much to leave._

 

 **_Annoying #3:_ ** _idk, nayeon unnie. i think you should tell her. she wouldn’t be happy to find out on her own…_

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _She won’t._

 

~

 

Dahyun does.

 

While using Nayeon’s textbook as a glorified plate for snacks, the acceptance letter is left out in the open. Using Google Translate to decipher the message (Dahyun’s curiosity won over her decision to wait for Nayeon to just tell her what the letter was), she is able to figure out the gist of the letter. The words “glad” and “accepted” are all she needs to understand.

 

She’s unhappy for two minutes until she starts peppering kisses all over Nayeon’s face.

 

Laughing, Nayeon rests her forehead on Dahyun’s, “what is this for?”

 

Dahyun waves the acceptance letter in her hand with a broad smile on her lips.

 

Nayeon’s blood turns cold.

 

“You got accepted! Sure, I’m a little mad that you didn’t tell me, but the school wants you!”

 

“The school may want me, but I don’t want it.”  
  
Dahyun’s smile disappears and her eyebrows furrow together.

 

“What do you mean?”  
  
“Going to that school means leaving Korea. Leaving our friends. Leaving you. I’m not doing that. I can just continue studying here and getting my internships here. I don’t need to fly across a whole ocean just to do the same thing.”

 

“But, you got accepted. This is a really great opportunity, Nayeon unnie.”

 

“Dahyun-ah, being with you is an opportunity I don’t want to miss out on. You’re one in a million. This school is just the same as any other; I can miss out on it. I’m not leaving.”

 

The finality in her voice forces Dahyun to hush anymore objections.

 

The disappointment in her eyes haunts Nayeon.

 

_Life has a funny way on introducing doubt._

 

~.~.~

 

Dahyun knows better than anyone else how hard her girlfriend works. She has massaged Nayeon’s sore body from working the two jobs that she has, rubbed the temples of her head to ease the pounding after extensive study sessions, has held her shaking body while she cried under the pressure to do well.

 

She knows that Nayeon’s dream is in seeing happiness on the faces of young children freed from their fears. Dahyun knows that the school waiting for Nayeon is the best in the country. Dahyun believes that she deserves to get what she works so hard for. Nayeon deserves to achieve her dreams. Dahyun will be damned if she allows herself to be the person who deprives Nayeon from the best opportunity to do so.

 

Nayeon’s drive to succeed is something that she admires, but the way Nayeon works to succeed concerns her. The older girl lives life going all the way or not at all. She applies herself until she sees the end and only eases when she knows that she has made it.

 

Dahyun thinks Nayeon hasn’t ever really “eased.” Even in their relationship, despite being together for two years, Nayeon is sure to go above and beyond for her, which Dahyun truly appreciates. Nayeon has never faltered. She has never blown up, never doubted her, never fought her, never did anything to intentionally hurt her. Nayeon gives in when she knows she is wrong, apologizes for when she unintentionally hurts her. For someone who holds ample pride, Nayeon has the utmost humility for Dahyun.

 

Nayeon is perfect.

 

But in this life, nothing can be perfect.

 

In Dahyun’s eyes, it’s like she is waiting for her like a ticking bomb. With how much Nayeon overwhelms herself with school, their relationship, and her expectations, there _has_ to be an outlash.

 

But, it’s Nayeon.

 

She works so much that failing in school is just not in the question. She treasures Dahyun so much that she would not project her stress on her unhealthily.

 

Nayeon expects herself to be perfect, if not for school, for Dahyun. So, when a shift occurs in their relationship, she is quick to pick up on it.

 

Dahyun is more reserved, less spontaneous with their dates and her affection.

 

 **_Princess Yeehaw:_ ** _sorry nayeon unnie, i dont think i can come over anymore. i promised chaeyoung and tzuyu that i would help them with something tonight._

 

The text is dry and plain. The lack of kaomojis is off-putting. It doesn’t feel like Dahyun.

 

Nayeon’s heart can feel a distance between hers and Dahyun’s. Its hurt is dull, yet, digs uncomfortably in.

 

 **_Acute Angel:_ ** _It’s okay, princess. Have fun!_

 

Dahyun doesn’t text her good night.

 

Nayeon waits for her phone to ring; she waits for nothing. Nayeon knows it in her heart. She doesn’t want to acknowledge it. She keeps her ringer on and forces her eyelids to remain open.

 

Dahyun doesn’t text her good morning.

 

Dahyun, however, does tweet a picture of Chaeyoung with a forty-five degree angle on her face at night and tweets later on in the morning about dreading morning class.

 

Nayeon tries not to think about how it was their usual weekly date night.

 

Nayeon doesn’t want to think about how Dahyun is already creating a distance between them.

 

Nayeon doesn’t want to remember the disappointment in Dahyun’s eyes when she insisted that she wouldn’t leave. She doesn’t want to think about how Dahyun is unintentionally forcing her to go by pushing her away.

 

But, it’s all that she can think about when Dahyun chooses to sleep in her own dorm instead of Nayeon’s despite the fact that Dahyun usually chases any chance she can to sleep with her. She hasn’t had that much room to toss and turn for awhile. Her bed has never felt so cold, her heart so alone.

 

_Nayeon thinks that Dahyun is starting to erase the proudly marked A for true._

 

~

 

Dahyun doesn’t flake out on this week’s date.

 

She rests in Nayeon’s arms but Nayeon can’t help but to feel like she wasn’t there.

 

Dahyun isn’t chattering the way she usually does during the movie. She doesn’t leave random kisses on her neck or plays with her fingers like she normally would.

 

She feels uncomfortable in Nayeon’s arms.

 

How could it be that two people who love each other so much could hurt each other just the same?

 

When Nayeon kisses her good night, Dahyun’s eyes don’t sparkle the way they usually do. Dahyun doesn’t smile when Nayeon starts singing a song to lull her to sleep.

 

Nayeon can feel her heart breaking when Dahyun turns away from her and edges out to the bed.

 

Forcing herself to let go of Nayeon is hurting her.

 

Dahyun wishes she could just melt in Nayeon’s arms like she used to. She wishes that Nayeon’s kisses would comfort her like they usually would, wishes that Nayeon’s voice would calm her racing thoughts to rest.

 

But, every ounce of love Nayeon gives her just reminds her of how much she would miss when Nayeon goes.

 

And when Nayeon goes, it’ll feel like missing out on the whole world and its wonders.

 

It’s the only thing Dahyun can think about and her heart breaks right in front of Nayeon.

 

Nayeon’s breaks right alongside it.

 

_She can feel Dahyun starting to bubble in B for false._

 

~

 

It is Jihyo and Jeongyeon’s rotation for their weekly movie nights. Dahyun sits beside Mina instead of settling into Nayeon’s arms. Momo cuddles into the both of them when the movie starts.

 

Nayeon can’t help but to look at her. It seems to be the only way Nayeon could have her. Dahyun skips out on date nights more often, says “I love you” even less.

 

 **_Annoying #2:_ ** _i don’t think the movie is playing on dahyun, nayeon unnie._

 

 **_Annoying #2:_ ** _even in the dark your staring is obvious._

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _I miss her, Jeongyeon._

 

 **_Annoying #2:_ ** _she misses you too. i think you know why too. and i think you know the way to make it better._

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _I do._

 

(Nayeon had a big test in one of her Psychology classes and Nayeon had spent days before studying for it. She had shut herself in her room or holed up in the library with her nose buried in her textbook or writing notecards. Dahyun had sent her her usual messages of motivation and kisses. It appeared to Nayeon that the glimpses of the Dahyun she was used to only came when she diligently worked in school and had something to show for it. When Nayeon sends Dahyun a picture of her scantron with only two pink marks out of fifty, Dahyun is sure to shower her in kisses when she sees her later on in the day.)

 

It bothers Nayeon when Dahyun looks back at her because she can see it in her eyes. Dahyun fucking loves her and it is as clear as day because she is choosing to hurt herself and forcing herself to let go instead of choosing to hold Nayeon tight.

 

Dahyun radiates, but lately, her smile and her eyes look dull. Her disposition is muted and it is as if the light within her was dimming.

 

It hurts Nayeon to think that she is the one turning off the light in her.

 

If Dahyun is allowing her to turn the light off, Nayeon is determined to be the one to turn it back on.

 

Nayeon knows what she needs to do. She understands now why Dahyun is pushing her away, sees why Dahyun is hellbent on hurting herself.

 

She wants to see Nayeon pursue her dreams, to chase what makes her happy. She believes in Nayeon enough to see that going away is what is necessary to ensure the greatest possibility for her to achieve what she has wanted for her whole life. As much as it hurts to understand that being away from her is what it takes, Dahyun won’t let Nayeon let go of her dreams for her.

 

Nayeon sees it now. She won’t let Dahyun suffer for nothing.

 

No matter for how long, Nayeon promises that she will do whatever it takes to keep Dahyun shining.

 

If that means leaving to America for school to achieve her dreams, then so be it.

 

~.~.~

 

Nayeon tells Dahyun that she is leaving to the college with the proud blue emblem before the school year finishes up.

 

Dahyun cries. Nayeon does too.

 

“I may be letting go of you right now, Dahyun-ah, but that doesn’t mean I’m really leaving you. Even if I’m an inch away from you or five thousand something miles away, my heart will stay wherever yours is for as long as you’ll let it.”

 

Dahyun smiles at her and rubs her nose against Nayeon’s. She runs her thumb over Nayeon’s cheek to catch a tear that falls.

 

“I’ll always let it, Angel. It doesn’t want anyone else but you anyway.”

 

“My Princess Yeehaw is so smart and mature to be letting me go like this.”

 

Dahyun lightly pushes at Nayeon’s chest before whining. Nayeon runs her fingers through Dahyun’s hair and plays with the strands the way she knows she likes.

 

“I love you, Dahyun. So much. When I come back, I promise that I’ll be someone who can make you happier, even more so than I am now.”

 

“I believe in you, Nayeon unnie. You already make me so happy now. And I can bet that tomorrow you’ll make me even happier than you did today and I bet that when you come back, I will love you even more than I do now.”

 

When Nayeon kisses her good night, Dahyun’s eyes sparkle. When she sings a song, she can feel the upturn of Dahyun’s lips against her neck.

 

After such a long time, Dahyun feels comfortable in her arms.

 

Dahyun learns that letting go doesn’t mean leaving.

 

She promises to hold Nayeon tight that night, even tighter when she is five thousand, two hundred and eighty miles away from her.

 

~

 

The end of the school year quickly approaches and it would be lie if Nayeon and Dahyun weren’t dreading it.

 

A week before leaving, Nayeon holds a sleepover at her house for what feels like the last time. Jeongyeon and Momo bring more food than is needed, Dahyun brings packs of ramen for variety, Mina brings boxes of tissues that advertise a softer ply, Sana and Jihyo bring sugary sweet drinks that mask the bitter alcohol, and Chaeyoung and Tzuyu bring bags of snacks. And collectively, dogs. A lot of dogs. Nayeon makes a simple rule in their group chat.

 

 **_Annoying #1:_ ** _Bring your dogs (if you have one at your reach) or don’t come at all. Jeongyeon, you can bring Bami if you’d like._

 

When the nine girls gather around the boxes of pizza on the table, six dogs run in between the table legs (plus Bami who rests on the couch beside Tzuyu’s stuffed dog, Minjoong). While the movie plays, Dahyun can’t help but to look at the girl holding her and the girls surrounding her. For a long while, this will be the last time her heart will feel the way it feels. It is only when they are together as nine does she feel complete. With Nayeon going (and taking half of her heart with her), Jeongyeon is set to leave after her fall term. Momo and Sana have another year while Jihyo and Mina have two. At least, when they have gone as well, Dahyun will have Chaeyoung and Tzuyu.

 

Dahyun already feels her heart ache and whine against the ticking of time. She already feels like missing them even though Nayeon is still holding her in her arms. Sana still leans on her when she laughs at the movie with Jihyo’s laughter trailing behind her, Momo and Mina still quietly converse back and forth in Japanese, Jeongyeon still makes random commentary and remarks, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu still fall asleep two thirds in.

 

Nayeon squeezes her tighter and kisses the side of her head.

 

“If you take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

 

Dahyun collects her phone, sets the timer and rushes back into Nayeon’s arms before the picture takes. With nine smiles, six dogs scattered here and there, and Nayeon kissing her cheek, this is a snapshot of love in motion. This is a picture of her family that Dahyun can hold close to her heart. These are the people that won’t leave her, no matter which ways they have to let go.

 

Dahyun sets the picture as her phone’s background and later prints and frames it, putting it on her bedside table where she lives with her relatives. Beside the frame, another yellow flower that Nayeon picked for her reminds her of memories that make her happy. The photobooth strip of them kissing is stuck where her mirror is, the pictures of her and her friends decorate her walls.

 

Somehow, Dahyun has made a home out of eight hearts. She knows her heart won’t know loneliness.

 

_Dahyun leaves a faint grey mark over the B. No fairy tale should force her Princess Charming away and leave her happy ending with a question mark._

 

~

 

Letting go despite not leaving still isn’t an easy thing to do. Nayeon holds her longer, looks at her as if she would disappear should she stop, loves her even harder. Dahyun clutches tighter to Nayeon at night, kisses her until her lips bruise, does whatever she can to make Nayeon’s heart feel less alone.

 

They don’t break up but promise each other that should there be someone else who does a better job at making their hearts happy, no matter how much it would hurt, to tell the other and let go.

 

Both can’t imagine that happening but six years is a long time. It only took two years for them to meet and fall in love as deeply as they have. What could six do?

 

Both don’t dwell on the thought and look toward a brighter future where Nayeon has her PhD and Dahyun has figured out her major and has already achieved it, or at the least, a majority of it. Nayeon promises to visit every summer and winter. Dahyun promises to look for internships Nayeon could do over the summer, should she want to do one. She also promises to keep an eye out for jobs that would require Nayeon’s expertise. Dahyun promises a future for them. Nayeon does too. She promises her that she will study diligently and as quickly as possible, that she will do whatever it takes to achieve her dreams because the sooner she can do that, the sooner she can return to Dahyun’s heart.

 

And that’s all Nayeon really wants to do. Her dream for so long has only been to be an advocate for voices too young to be taken seriously. Now, Dahyun is a part of that. Wherever she is, whatever she is doing, as long as Dahyun is there, Nayeon’s heart will know happiness.

 

Dahyun promises to herself that won’t cry in the airport when Nayeon departs. She breaks that one when Nayeon’s glassy eyes look at her as if it were her last time to do so. Dahyun gives her a pressed yellow flower that she laminated from one of their dates last spring.

 

“Here, one last gift from me before you go. Look at this whenever you’re sad and remember how happy we were when I picked this.”

 

Nayeon gives her a teary smile and rubs her nose against Dahyun’s.

 

“Why would I look at it now when you’re right in front of me?”

 

She takes it, slips it under her phone case, and kisses her goodbye.

 

“I love you, Dahyun-ah. We’ll be okay.”

 

~.~.~

 

5,280.

 

Nayeon has written that number down for mathematical equations, for the amount of money she wished was in her bank account, and now, it is the number that stands between her and her heart.

 

Long distance is hard, to say the least. The time difference allows for the smallest of windows for them to talk. Most of the time when Dahyun can talk to Nayeon, Nayeon is sleepy-eyed and tired after her long day. When Dahyun sets off to sleep, Nayeon is usually getting ready for her first class. At the time where Nayeon is usually finishing up a shift at a diner she works at, Dahyun is mumbling behind a spoon of rice with sleep gunk still lingering around the corners of her eyes.

 

For the first couple of weeks, Dahyun makes jokes about how she lives in the future. It doesn’t take long for her to start hating how the sun cannot align with her and Nayeon. Despite how sleepy Nayeon gets and how grumpy Dahyun can be in the morning, Nayeon still gives Dahyun the most of her attention and Dahyun’s eyes turn into crescents while she hides her smile behind her hands.

 

Eventually, Nayeon stops calling daily, can barely slip in a good night text before her eyelids close. Dahyun too, can barely call her due to school taking all of her time in the afternoon.

 

Their relationship exists in the form of words and pictures sent over text. Facetime calls are rare. Nayeon can’t remember the last time she heard Dahyun’s cute chittering laugh and it bothers her heart when she imagines what she is missing when Dahyun sends her her anecdotes throughout the week.

 

Nayeon is generally not a seriously jealous person. Needy for attention, maybe. But jealous over Dahyun? Rarely. She does well to assure Nayeon that her heart only wants her. Nayeon finds that her jealousy is in the fact that other people can be with Dahyun, can experience who she is, can hug her and hear her laugh, and see her blushing cheeks.

 

She misses her so damn much. She misses holding her at night, her pillow soft cheeks, pink lips, her charming words, her unique way of being. Nayeon misses eating ramen at least once a week, seeing Dahyun sing into her hand to a song, seeing her look at her with the loving eyes that she has. She misses teasing her and pinching at her butt just to hear Dahyun’s whines. She misses the presence that makes her feel the most at home.

 

God, she misses her home so much.

 

Not to mention, she also misses her friends. She misses Sana kissing her cheek every morning, Jihyo and Jeongyeon’s relentless teasing, Chaeyoung relying on her, Tzuyu’s playfulness, Momo’s random dancing, and Mina’s quiet support.

 

She misses Korea. The food, the etiquette, the people, the language.

 

Nayeon is a lost stranger, lonely and disoriented in a place that buzzes around her. Her only sense of “home” is her dorm that she shares with a girl that is rarely ever there. Her friends there are close to none, only has the numbers of the people next to her in her classes just in case she needed notes. English is hard. The concepts are complicated and thorough and Nayeon has never struggled so hard to understand letters pieced together to make complex words and sentences.

 

To put it simply, Nayeon is struggling to fit in.

 

Letting go feels a lot like leaving.

 

Letting go feels a lot like being lonely.

 

Nayeon doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like being away from her friends and her sunshine. She doesn’t like not understanding what her professors are saying, not being able to have Korean food around every corner of the street, being so foreign and confused.

 

But, Nayeon promised Dahyun that she would do well—that she would fulfill her dreams.

 

Nayeon doesn’t make many promises because she knows that a lot of the time, they are never kept.

 

But for Dahyun, she will keep them. She will honor them and see to making her proud.

 

Nayeon promises not to fail her. Failure is her greatest fear; she will not let her fear beat her out. Nayeon knows Dahyun deserves that much.

 

~

 

A year and a half into Nayeon leaving, the distance isn’t any easier. The timing just the same. The visiting in between school vacations are dangerous teasers that last for a small amount of time. The amount of time Nayeon comes to visit in is never enough, whether it be two weeks or a month. Dahyun silently wishes more and more every time for Nayeon to just stay and hold her and sing her to sleep. Saying goodbye at airports get harder and harder.

 

Nayeon hears from Jihyo that Dahyun skips out on movie nights so that she could call her in a time that is morning for her. Jihyo tells her that Dahyun has slowly distanced herself and kept to her own. Jihyo reluctantly tells her how down Dahyun has been. Sana also tells her of how Dahyun seems to have dimmed.

 

It pains Nayeon to hear that the person who means most to her was suffering. When Dahyun calls, her smile and her bright eyes are enough to fool Nayeon into thinking that she was coping well.

 

Nayeon doesn’t like the thought of letting go. But more so, she doesn’t like the thought of Dahyun letting go of her friends just to wait for her.

 

Nayeon knows loneliness. She doesn’t want Dahyun to come into acquaintance with it. It’s a nasty feeling that never really leaves. Dahyun has her friends at home, friends that love and cherish her, that cheer her on and support her. She has seven pairs of arms she could fall into after a tiring day, seven pairs of ears to listen to her complaining and truthful confessions of sadness, seven hearts for hers to rely on.

 

Nayeon doesn’t. With their arms, ears, and hearts so far, it’s hard to open up over the piece of metal touching her ear. A voice isn’t quite enough to assure her and make her feel less lonely.

 

Nayeon mulls over the thought of letting go because she knows Dahyun won’t. She knows in her heart that as much as hers wants Dahyun’s and Dahyun hers, the waiting is not doing them well. There is a turmoil in wanting to call in the morning but knowing the other was sacrificing their sleep to stay awake and talk. Instead of being a partner to rely on and grow with, they have become partners that plateaued.

 

Nayeon knows that that isn’t healthy.

 

Nayeon knows Dahyun deserves more than that.

 

If time and distance is telling her that she isn’t right for her, Nayeon understands that it is time to let go.

 

It takes her half a year more to make the phone call that her heart dreads. She calls Dahyun after her class and her hands tremble despite the warmth of the sun on her.

 

“Angel? What are you doing calling me? Don’t you have class?”

 

Dahyun’s voice makes her smile, brings tears to her eyes.

 

“I skipped. I just. I wanted to call you now.”

 

“Unnie, you know you can’t do that! You’re missing out on important material right now!”

 

She laughs at the scolding tone Dahyun adopts.

 

“I know, princess. Just this once.”

 

A silence follows.

 

“You know I love you, Dahyun?”

 

“Of course I do, Nayeon unnie.”

 

“Then you must know that I know you’re not happy, that in this current time, I am not making you happy.”

 

“But-”

 

“You’re only happy when I call or you call and I pick up. That’s a lot of time where you’re sad, Dahyun-ah. And that’s not okay. And you know it.”

 

Dahyun wishes she could refute and prove Nayeon wrong but she can’t find it in herself to.

  
  
She knows Nayeon is right. Her heart already knows what is happening. She can’t help the tears that start to fall.

 

“Are you letting go and leaving, Nayeon unnie?”

 

“I’ve been holding on for too long. It took me too long to accept that I can’t do anything for you, that I can’t be a lover you deserve.”

 

“Would it be easier if I let go and leave too? So that you could be happy too?”

 

The silence is telling enough.

 

Nayeon can hear Dahyun’s sniffling nose. She wishes she could be there to wipe her tears away. She wishes Dahyun could wipe hers away too.

 

“This pain right now is only temporary. One day, I will see you and I know you will be smiling because you’ll be happier than you are now. And I hope that I can be someone who is happier too.”

 

Dahyun cries into the phone. Letting go and leaving is never easy, especially when that person is Nayeon.

 

With two hearts that clearly only want each other, that wish to be together, letting go and leaving feels impossible.

 

But, knowing that this is what Dahyun needs in order to turn the light within herself on again, that is enough for Nayeon to let go.

 

She promised to keep that light on. Nayeon will never break that one.

 

Before Nayeon hangs up, Dahyun can only quietly speak, her body too tired to do anything more.

 

“I love you, Nayeon unnie. So so much.”

 

That is the last thing Nayeon hears from her for the next two years.

 

_The faint grey bubble on B turns a shade darker. Dahyun shouldn’t have to let go of her Princess Charming and leave. She shouldn’t have to let go of her happy ending with her._

 

~

 

It has been four years since Nayeon last came to Korea, six years since she left to pursue her dream. In those six years, she has successfully achieved it. With a doctorate under her belt, Nayeon is glad to be home. Her mother picks her up from the airport with Kookeu in her arms and Nayeon feels like she can finally breathe.

 

As time went on, Nayeon grew to like America. She liked the open-mindedness, how she could go to the store barefaced without having people looking at her like she was an alien, and how people smiled more in passing.

 

But, it never felt like home. For six long years, she felt away from home and now, she no longer has to. After four years, she sleeps in her room at her mother’s house. The stuffed animals that she left are still there. So are the pictures of her and Dahyun. Looking at them, she remembers faint details of what happened in them. A photobooth strip, a laminated yellow flower, a framed picture of nine girls piled together in her living room, all remind her of when she was younger, more innocent, and less jaded by the world.

 

She looks at them and she can see how happy she was.

 

She can see the love that filled her heart.

 

It isn’t easy for her to figure out if she was ever as happy as she was in America as she was in those pictures.

 

It’s hard to feel that kind of elation in a place that is not home, when her homes were here.

 

Jihyo and Jeongyeon keep up to date with her, occasionally Sana when she screams through the phone when Jihyo calls her. Momo and Mina call her too, often about little things, but usually just a quick update on each other’s lives. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu call a bit more often. The youngest ones still rely on her to help them through their muddled lives. It makes Nayeon happy to think that they still think of her in that way.

 

Dahyun hasn’t called. But to be fair, neither has Nayeon.

 

On the third year of Nayeon living in America, Jihyo tells Nayeon that Dahyun was seeing someone else. Nayeon didn’t care to learn her name, only wished to know if Dahyun was happy. She was—and that was all Nayeon cared to hear or know.

 

Dahyun deserves happiness. Whether it be her or someone else, it didn’t matter who made her smile, just that she did.

 

But, it would be the biggest lie Nayeon told if she said she wasn’t hurt. Thinking of someone else being with her, kissing and holding her, and making her laugh made her heart pang. Nayeon wished it would be her. And that’s what kills her. Nayeon could be the one making her happy—loving and treasuring her, growing beside her. If there was one thing Nayeon knew she could do well, it was loving Dahyun. But, it wouldn’t be her because time and life are so cruel to make her unable to.

 

Nayeon, no matter how much she doesn’t regret doing it, wishes she didn’t have to let go and leave.

 

Letting go and leaving Dahyun might be some of the most painful things she has ever had to do. All the countless nights of studying, the headaches, body aches from work, the stress and pressure to succeed are nothing compared to waking up alone. Not waking up beside her and seeing her sleepy groggy smile and hearing her mumble “I love you” hurts more than Nayeon could ever describe.

 

Letting go is one thing. Feeling left is another.

 

Nayeon wishes that her heart understood that she let go and left first, not Dahyun.

 

Nayeon tried dating again. When the girl kissed her, she just wanted to cry from how wrong it felt. Holding her hand felt wrong, her laugh didn’t chitter, her cheeks didn’t blush when she complimented her. It felt wrong to be with someone else when all that ran through her mind was Dahyun. It didn’t feel right to be comparing how the curve of their lips didn’t feel like Dahyun’s, that their body didn’t feel as soft and pliant as hers, that they didn’t make her heart as happy.

 

Nayeon could never get past the first date.

 

Nayeon is jealous how Dahyun could.

 

But, Jihyo tells her five months later that Dahyun stopped seeing the girl. Jihyo doesn’t say explicitly why but Nayeon can get a feeling when she says, “she just wasn’t you.” Jihyo tells her that Dahyun just didn’t shine as bright, smile as much, laugh as much.

 

It tortures Nayeon’s heart just how much hope that brings her.

 

~

 

For the first time in a long while, there is a movie night. Jihyo graciously offers her home for the night. Momo and Jeongyeon bring the food like they usually do, Mina, the random tissue box, Sana and Nayeon, the alcohol, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the snacks, and Dahyun, the packs of ramen.

 

Jihyo and Sana look at each other when her doorbell rings. Certainly, this is a night that holds mysterious cards in its deck. When they open the door, Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu arrive first, followed by Momo and Mina, then Dahyun. Nayeon is the last to come. With alcohol in tow, there now exists a tension that never occurred between the nine of them before.

 

It is clear where the tension permeates from. Nayeon and Dahyun can only seem to see each other. The seven looking between them can see a sense of unfamiliarity that brings uncomfortability, but more than that, the longing that pulsates in the air is stronger than anything else.

 

Nayeon looks beautiful; Dahyun could still guarantee it on any given day.

 

Dahyun looks more mature, her eyes a little less naive and innocent, but still hopeful. Her cheeks are more shapely, her body is as well.

 

She looks so beautiful. Nayeon feels as if an angel were looking at her. She is the first to nip at the tension. Her voice is scratchy and deep, as if it were just sitting in the back of her throat.

 

“Hi, Yeehaw. You look beautiful.”

 

Dahyun smiles the smile Nayeon loves. It is as if the light Dahyun keeps within herself glows brighter at the sound of her voice.

 

“Won’t you call me princess, Angel?”

 

Nayeon smiles back and Dahyun feels like her heart heals.

 

“Always.”

 

~.~.~

 

Dahyun chooses to leave the marked B grey. Life isn’t a fairytale; it’s too cruel and too cold for it to be. She learns that the magic it takes to be soft and warm to the world isn’t magic when it is love that keeps her heart open. And Nayeon is too good to be fairytale. She is real, true, and more than any Princess Charming could be.

 

If Dahyun had her, she wouldn’t need a fairytale to be happy.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like always, thanks for reading anf beep me (on tumblr @sophrodites) if u wanna reach me (or preferred, dm me on twitter @sowphrodite)  
> cross posted on aff
> 
> ps: kaomojis are so damn cute

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thank you for reading and you can reach me on twitter @sowonatine if you so please to :3


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